Hey listeners! This brand new episode of the Be You Brand podcast is all about mindset. I am going to delve into the importance of defining success on your own terms and the mindset traps, the growth vs. the fixed mindset and how it affects your decision-making. Mindset is a powerful factor that can either propel you forward or hold you back in your personal branding journey. By becoming aware of and addressing common mindset blocks such as fixed mindset, fear of judgment, imposter syndrome, fear of failure, and perfectionism, you can develop a healthier and more empowering mindset that will support your growth and success. Remember that mindset work is an ongoing process, and it’s something you can continually refine and improve as you progress in your personal branding journey. Keep listening because this episode is going to open your eyes to so many things that maybe you’re not even aware of.
Here are the key highlights from this episode:
- Success is subjective and can’t be defined by others, only by the individual themselves.
- The difference between growth and fixed mindsets, emphasizing the importance of feeling freedom and being in a growth mindset to achieve success.
- Observing and reframing negative thoughts in business, challenging limiting beliefs and reframing thoughts.
- Overcoming self-doubt in personal branding, imposter syndrome and building a personal brand.
- Building a business and audience with a growth mindset.
Quote from this episode:
“Money is not what defines my success, I have felt very successful in time of my life where money wasn’t the factor in there. Now, given I’ve done a lot of work on my money mindset, because at the beginning of my journey, everything was attached to this. So I have given you so much to work on, but I want you to really, truly define your own definition of success. Because when we started talking about the mindset needed for you to build a personal brand. But it’s going to happen. If you don’t know what your definition of success is, what your personal brand goals are. Now, if your goal is to make a million dollars, that’s amazing, I will make a million dollars, that’s fine. But the thing is, as coaches, as online entrepreneurs, we need to understand that we are all different. So if you are comparing yourself with somebody else on the online space, or in a coaching program that you are in or a mastermind you’re in and your goals are different from that person, you’re going to feel miserable.”
Ati Grinspun 00:00
Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the Be You Brand podcast. This is a crazy thing, these podcast, this episode is all about mindset. And this is kind of crazy, because this is the fourth time that I actually sit down to record this podcast, I started the other day. And then today, I started a stop, like the tech and this and that, and I was a stop and just hit record. And I found it really interesting that I’m setting out to talk about the tools that are used for your personal branding mindset. And that this happened, and it’s so humbling. And I kind of wanted to share that with you before we even go into the meat of what I’m going to talk about. Because the truth is that we can have all the tools, but mindset is an on going work, it never ends. As you are getting better, things don’t get easier, you just get better. And use just get stronger, just like when you workout. And the things that used to be hard, start feeling simpler, and they start feeling easier. So what happens is like you still have fears, but your fears are evolving, right? You now have fears of new things. So I kind of wanted to share that. Because as you see other personal brands, and as you see other people unless you see, right, like, you’re kind of like the people that you admire, it doesn’t mean that they are not scare, it means that they’re just doing it anyway, that they just been on the game longer. And I truly believe that at any place, wherever you’re at. If you can recognize where you’re at, you can grow. So let’s jump into it. Because I really think that this episode is going to open your eyes to so many things that maybe you’re not even aware of. And there is so much talk about mindset. There is so much talk about your Monroe routine and doing this and doing that. And I want to share from my own experience from my own journey, what have been the things that actually made a true difference? And what were the things what are the things that maybe you’re reading and you’re thinking that you have to do you have to try that maybe they didn’t work for me, but they’re amazing for you. So let’s get started. In my own journey, I realized that I every single step of the way, the only limit that I had, has been myself right? Whoo, how I saw myself but I thought it was possible for myself what I thought that I was capable of doing. And this is everything from the beginning from day one in my business. And I had just started shifting some of these beliefs and a lot of the things that we’re going to talk today they are on your conscious mind, but I want you to kind of keep these on the back of your mind because as we are going into the podcast, I want to share with you also my subconscious journey okay because about 1% of all the work that we are going to talk about here today is conscious. Now you have to start at the conscious level in order to then make a decision to do the work at the subconscious level right because if you are not conscious if you are not aware that there is things that are stopping you and us are just accepting the thoughts of the our reality is that you will never get to the deep, deep work that is necessary for you to make true change. I was actually going live we had one of our speakers for rebrand live next week. And her name is Hannah. She is the CEO of she races publishing company and they have a magazine they have a network, a TV network, all the things and one of the things that she said you know, conversation it was the mountain is you. Oh my god, actually she said no, I’m gonna repeat that. She said the limit is not this sky, the limit is you, or my god, I was I, because this is the thing, right? At any level, you’re going to have a next level. So if you’re just starting out, you may encounter a lot of fear a lot of things. But the more you do it, and the more you do the internal work, and the more you start doing these work of looking inward and not just outward, you’re gonna gain courage. And then as you’re doing even though, everything you’re doing is new, that is the definition of entrepreneurship, you’re doing everything new, right, you’re doing something new, you may be taking your business, your framework, right from somewhere, but the way you’re doing it, who you are, especially in your personal brand, you are unique. So everything you’re putting out in the world and really allowing yourself to be you. It’s new, okay? It’s always new. So even though you are constantly doing new things, as you work in these skills in your mindset, it will get easier. Okay. So let’s get started. I that was a long introduction. But I want to get started with this. where you’re at right now, there is always this next level of success. So what happens is, you’re looking at other people, maybe on social media, you’re looking at other people, maybe even in your life that have businesses, and you don’t know where they are in their journey, or you don’t know what they truly want. So I want you to start in this journey by defining your own definition of success. So let’s talk about this for a second, right, because I spent so much time and I wasted so much energy on this, when I first joined network marketing, and there was all this talk about like time freedom and traveling and working three hours a day. And I felt miserable in my job at the time. And given a lot of you know, my story, I lost my job before that, right. I love my job for so many years, I never felt a slave of it. But towards the end, I wanted to be with my kid, I wanted to have more time to be present with my family because they became a mom, right my life change. But I subscribe to this vision that people were talking about, about traveling and working three hours a day and all the things. And to be honest, that wasn’t truly my vision. That wasn’t really my vision. There was somebody else’s vision. It sounded amazing. It was sold to me in a package in such a beautiful way. But it wasn’t until a while after that, I realized that that was not truly what made me happy. I was chasing a carrot that that was not truly what I was looking for. So now don’t get me wrong. I love traveling. We do all early vacation. We love taking trips. I actually love taking small trips in between weeks and stuff like that. But this is the crazy thing. I’m going to tell you a story going back when I was in my 20s and I left Argentina, I went to live in Spain. And a lot of my friends. They used to do six months in Ibiza. And then they would go and do six months in Mexico six months in Ibiza, six months in Thailand. And I ended up doing this choice I did first year in Ibiza. I actually stayed in the Isla in the island. I ended up not going anywhere. And a lot of my friends did. And I remember thinking oh, maybe I need to try this. So the second time I actually went back to Argentina, I went back to Ibiza. And I knew immediately that this was not the life that I wanted. I knew immediately that I needed to have roots in one place. So I kind of gave this a try in my life. But then I subscribe to this vision that I didn’t even realize that was sold to me now why I just told you that story is because as you’re building a business and especially in the world of social media, Instagram, Facebook, Facebook, Facebook groups listening to podcasts, you’re gonna hear all sorts of stories, and everybody is going to want to tell you that their way is the way or that making, I don’t know 20 grand a month or 10 grand a month or 100,000 a month is success. But the truth is that you are the owner only one that can really describe success for yourself. You are the only one for me when I am off the whole weekend, and I close my computer at 330 in the afternoon, and I go to the gym every day, and I’m really I’m feeling connected, I’m connected to my son, I’m connected to my mom, while I talk often with Korean Argentina. Now they’re moving here, although things feel like success to me. And not all the time, while money is necessary to achieve all the things and I love the money talk. And I love investing, and we have done amazing for ourselves and my business is amazing. At the same time, money is not what defines my success, I have felt very successful in time of my life, where money wasn’t the factor in there. Okay? Now, given I’ve done a lot of work on my money mindset, because at the beginning of my journey, everything was attached to this, okay, so I have given you so much to work on. But I want you to really, truly define your own definition of success. Because when we started talking about the mindset needed to you don’t need for you to build a personal brand. But it’s going to happen. If you don’t know what your definition of success is, what your personal brand goals are. Now, if your goal is to make a million dollars, that’s amazing, I will make a million dollars, that’s fine. But the thing is, as coaches as online entrepreneurs, we need to understand that we are all different. So if you are comparing yourself with somebody else on the online space, or in a coaching program that you are in a mastermind or you’re in and your goals are different from that person, you’re going to feel miserable. Okay, so I wanted to give you a little bit of that background. Because this is such a good exercise, I knew more likely are going to come back time and time again, to defining your own truth to the finding your own definition of success. And every time you go into a new level that might look different for me at the beginning was to replace my bartending income. Right? Now, it’s completely different. It’s about bringing my parents here and having more time traveling is not necessarily a factor right now in that definition of success, right? But making an impact is being in front of my people is being in front of more women that need to hear my message is right. So define your definition of success in this time of life. And then you’re going to start applying all the things that I’m going to talk about. So once you have the definition of success already there that you actually like, Okay, if I was here, I would feel successful. And sometimes you need the trials, right? Like when I subscribe to that vision back in the day. Like I actually could tell pretty quick eventually that that was not a definition of success, because I felt like what I was on this like, kind of like a trap. But you it’s different for all of us. Okay, but as I work with clients, and as I work on myself, these are the most common mindset traps that I cannot find that most of us kind of are stuck in. Okay, so number one is growth mindset versus fixed mindset. So growth mindset is feeling freedom, right? Growth Mindset is when you feel in flow, when you feel like you want to collaborate when you feel like you are free to get clients and you feel like you maybe like even myself today with the four times right that I had to sit down to record these podcasts. I feel like I was in a growth growth mindset. At some point. I was like, listen it you know, you’ve done these millions of times. Like literally, it’s I have done, gone live at this point. So many times. You can do this, do it a scare, do it anyway, do it to grow through it. That is growth mindset. I want to give you a little bit of description of what I found online when it comes to fixed mindset. Because the thing it all comes down to aware right so the term fixed mindset and growth mindset. Describe that underlying belief you have about learning and your intelligence. I’m gonna repeat that. I’m actually reading this because I wanted to bring it to you in a way that was very digestible. So the term Fixed Mindset and growth mindset describes the underlying belief you have about learning and your intelligence, when you believe you can get smarter, you understand that effort and research makes you stronger. Therefore, you put in extra time and effort, and that leads to higher achievement, and a new understanding. An example of that is I know, the more I show up for this podcast, the better I’m going to get, there is no way I’m going to be over there. I’m going to do these over and over and over and over. And now get better at it. I remember when I used to be a flair bartender, and I used to flip bottles, right? I used to like sit in my garage, or stand in my garage, and do a move. And I could do it over and over and over. And every time I could get a tiny, little better. But if you’re operating from a fixed mindset, right, you probably are avoiding challenges. You maybe you try something and you give up, right? Maybe you are trying to be better at going live, and you go live for three days. And you’re like, Oh, this is not for me. That is fixed mindset. Another symptom, if you call it have a fixed mindset is being threatened by others, people success. And this is so so important when you’re an intrapreneur. Because as we start our businesses, we need to be humble. And we need to have this growth mindset in order to be able to learn not only from mentors that we actually paid you, but from other people to observe other people’s successes, and really learn from them. That is hundreds of mentors that doesn’t even know that they’re my mentor, right people that I listen to podcasts to people that I look from afar, people that are in other industries, right, I consider my parents, my biggest mentors, right, because not so much for what they know. But a lot of the times for what they don’t know, maybe for observing some of my flaws in them and wanting to change. So when we hear collaboration over competition, or community over competition, I know that I had to come a long way. And I had to do a conscious effort to really step into a place of not being threatened by others, people success by looking at somebody and using that person as an example of what is possible for me, as opposed to feeling threatened. Right. So the reason why I wanted to bring all of these to you is because are you recognizing any of these on you? Right? So another way to know if you’re in a fixed mindset is do you have the desire to constantly look smart. Now we talk about being an authority in personal branding all the time. But this is the thing, one thing is to show up, as no authority and tell the world what you know, and teach and bring people along the journey. And another way, and another thing is trying to look smarter, when you inside are feeling very, very small, right? So you feel like your efforts are being fruitless. Instead of fear or thinking, You know what I’m putting this effort, this is gonna pay you off. It’s only a matter of time, there is a moment, things are going to click for me, right. And then also you are ignoring feedback. You don’t like hearing constructive criticism. Now, I want to give you a little bit of background on these feedback thing. Always, always, always, you want to take feedback and criticism and constructive criticism from people that have your best interests in mind. This is going to be either a coach, this is going to be somebody that absolutely loves you and wants the best for you. Be careful who you let give you feedback, because in your growth and your personal growth in your business growth, there’s going to be people that they’re not there with you yet, right that maybe people that are scared they are they they have their own fixed mindset. They may be Shas be scared for you and when they are telling you Oh Why don’t you stay in your job or why man like you don’t need to go live every day or whatever it is that they’re telling you, especially in business. Always take advice and feedback from people that you look up to don’t take advice from people that they are not where you’re going. Okay, that was my rant. in there, and then you will believe that your abilities are fixed, that there is things that you cannot learn. I hear this from a ton of people when it comes to social media. Or I can deal with that. I am bad at that. I’m like, what you’re bad, but you’re not trying Are you try like three times, right? And the thing is, if you are learning to ride a bike is going to tell and take you way more than three times. And one of the reasons I’m spending so much time on growth mindset versus fixed mindset is because you absolutely want to gain awareness in order to start kind of pushing the persevere. Mindset, right, persevere in the face of failure. effort is required to build a new skill and understanding that and staying the course. I went live with Lindsay Paoli on Instagram the other day. And she was like, you know, we were talking with a friend that we have in common. And she was like, Oh, my God, artists doing amazing. She was like, I knew her when she she just started and she had so much fear. But she has stayed the course. And if I’m going to tell you and I have to be 100% honest here, I stay the course on the work inward, not just on social media and putting myself out there and really working on my business and looking how I could make it better. But that came from the work that I did in my mindset. And I applied a lot of the stuff that I learned through doing triathlons, I’ve been a flair bartender. I applied it to my business. And I knew that if I stay the course, and I didn’t quit, things, were going to start happening. And they did. Okay. The other thing is accepting criticism, even when it feels like a frickin dagger in your chest. I had a coach early, early, early in, in my journey. I mean, I’m gonna say her name, her name is Kayla craft. You can go follow her. She’s, she’s amazing. We were coaching and she told me I kept giving her excuses. She was like, well, and what about this? So well, yeah, but yes, but yes, well, I did that, because I kept giving her the reasons that I was keeping in my mind for doing or not doing something. And she stopped me. And she was like, Listen, you are literally fighting to keep your limitations. You’re fighting for your limitations. You’re giving me all these reasons why you cannot do something. How about you give me a reason why you can? That one thing, and I’m gonna I’m gonna tell you, at the moment, it rubbed me so fucking wrong. And I was like, it was exactly what I needed to grow. It’s stuck with me, that was maybe five years ago, six years ago, I will never forget that. And I have used that same sentence with so many of my clients. Because that one sentence changed it all. Okay, so I want you to really, really, you can even go into the show notes later. And kind of like, copy this, right? Like, what, where are you? Are you in the fixed mindset, or in the growth mindset, and these is going to really unravel on all the other tools that I’m going to give you right now. So the first thing that I want you to do once you realize and this is going to help you to move from fixed mindset to growth mindset. One more thing about growth mindset and fixed mindset. You may do a lot of work and eventually find yourself in a fixed mindset around something. And sometimes you need to work this right. A lot of the tools that are used are journaling, tapping, I tapped before actually coming into this episode because I was having a lot of anxiety I told you I tried to record these like four times. So I tap and I tap on the anxiety and tap on the fear of being seen and all the things that were coming up for me. And even though I’m sweating right now, I am transparent. I’m here I’m showing up. Okay. So number one in order for you to move from fixed mindset to growth mindset and to start really understanding what it’s happening at any again, at any step of your of your journey, because at any step of your journey. You’re going to have new levels, new devils, new things that are going to show up you’re going to need more courage, more money, more resilience, they Things are gonna get, the bigger your business, the bigger the problems, right? I want you to think that you are going to do these over and over and over and over and always come back to some of these tools. Okay? So number one is become an observer of your own thoughts. How can you become a third observer of your own thoughts? Right. And I did an exercise for a lot of my boot campers A while ago, that was I carry a little notebook for about seven days. And when I first left my job, one of the things that happened was, I didn’t realize that I had all these chit chatter in, in my mind, like I was really blindsided. And once I realized that, I started tackling them one by one. But now that I have a lot of more tools, one of the things that I love is observe my thoughts, and then challenge and reframe, challenge and reframe. So let me explain you what this actually means. Okay. Many of the business owners that have worked with have a lot of experience when I asked them how long they have been doing them, they’re amazing. Like, I have a client that is a nutritionist, she has so many letters, guys behind her frickin name. It’s crazy. Do you think just that authority she knows so much, but when it comes to promoting herself to actually committing to one niche, to truly staying the course, she fumbles, because she has a lot of thoughts that like, so some of these can be like, I’m not, I’m not sure how to come up with ideas. She creates a product and then she pivots again. And that is a symptom of you self sabotaging, right? Like you create something and you don’t believe in it. So you create something else. And then you create that one thing, and you believe that it didn’t work. So challenging the thought to what is a fact? What is it true fact? What is true in a situation or a thought, Okay? And then reframing reframing the exercise. So when you actually become an observer of your own thoughts, you’re able to start really changing and creating new stories for yourself, by reframing the belief, so some of these can be like I’m lost in business, I have no idea what to do to get clients. So how would you challenge and reframe that? So what is one thing that you can do today to talk to people about your business? Right? So instead of telling yourself, I don’t know what I’m doing, I am lost? I’m unstuck. I don’t know how to do this. You could ask yourself a powerful question. And that powerful question could be okay, for the next 10 minutes, I am going to brainstorm. And I’m going to let my mind go wild. And you’re going to write down Okay, number one, what is the fact? Have you had clients in the past? Yes or no? So depending on where your business where you are in business, you may say, No, I haven’t had any clients, because I just got started. So is it true that you don’t know how to get clients? No, maybe you just got to start it. Now, if you have been in business for a while, and you actually had clients already. And what it’s truly happening is that you don’t have enough clients. Now the challenge would be something like, is it true that I don’t know how to get clients? The answer is no. Because obviously, you already got some clients. So the reframe to that is like, Okay, what did I do to get those clients? How can I repeat that outcome? I’m going to tell you a real life situation that happened in one of my hot seats inside of your brand Academy. We were talking about beliefs and reframe, and we were doing group coaching session. And one of the ladies in there she share my biggest stuck is money. Like I like I just don’t know, like money never comes to me. So I asked her I’m like, okay, so what about money, actually, is that you’re stuck and she’s like, I don’t have any. And I was like, Okay, can I challenge that belief? Because she was so quick, right? When you’re really quick at saying something usually isn’t good since I believe this is an unconscious belief that she doesn’t have any money. So I kind of challenge your belief and she was like, Yes. And I was like, Is there money in your bank account? Right now? She said, Yes. And then she broke down, right? But the reason why it’s so important and this is such a small reframe, is because now she can say, okay, it’s not true that I don’t have any money. I have a little bit of money, I would like to have more. How can I make that happen? So do you see how we go from stating something? That actually is not true? And usually, these beliefs are never true. To challenge and reframe. So the challenge is, what is the truth? In these beliefs, these thought this thing that is coming up for me, and the reframe is how can I think about these different? Let me get generic sample. So let’s say that you want to start a podcast, right? Like, like, I’m just doing right now. And you’re starting to think I have nothing to say, Who is gonna listen to my podcast? Like, I’m not confident or my skill yet. Like, what the challenge and the reframe could be, what is one topic that I love talking about? Because remember that building your personal brand, the way I teach, it, is not just about you being a expert, which you want to show up. As the expert, you want people to know you for what you do and what you want to be known for. That it’s all the other things that you can talk about, what are some things that you’re learning right now, at this very moment, around the topic that you teach or that you serve? That can help your client? Because the truth is that you do have things to talk about, you already have opinions. So the reframe would be is there anything that I am passionate to talk about right at this very moment that my ideal client can actually be interested in? And I guarantee you that you can come up with like three, four, or five, six, and then break them down. Right? So these one also here very often, there is so many people doing what I’m doing. Everybody is doing photography, everybody’s a realtor, how am I going to be successful? That comes from the fixed mindset, because you believe that there is only a space for the people that are already there. And you don’t believe that you can grow to actually start something on your own. So the challenge is, is there other people that are just like you? Do those people is started somewhere. And if anybody, guys, I started somewhere, I always tell the story. My first live was sideways the whole time. Okay. And literally, I finished that I went to a bathroom, and I puke. And now I’m here telling you my story telling you how it took me four times to actually record this podcast, right? So when I hear so many people telling me oh, there is so many people doing what I’m doing. I’m like, and they all started somewhere. Is that true or not? Yes. So can you allow yourself to be a beginner and learn the ropes from all these people that went ahead of you? So do you see how you take that thought? And you turn it around? You challenge? And you reframe it, you challenge and you reframe it. Now, if it is hard for you to reframe it, because this was really hard? For me at the beginning, the challenge is easy. The challenge is, is it actually true? Or is a fact I want you to look at the fact. And for this, you may have to look at the like the semantic of whatever it is that you’re stating. And you may actually sometimes to get a second thought about it. Talk to somebody about a journal about it, what is it actually truth? Because you may actually keep telling yourself that this is true. I did that for years and I was like, I don’t understand this challenging. This is exactly how things are. And they weren’t. Okay. So now on the refrain side, you can simply ask yourself, How can I think about this one thing in a different way in a positive way? The question that I love doing for myself is I have it right there is how can I sell more of the thoughts that we have is all around I cannot do this. I am not good at that. That doesn’t come easily to me. This is not working out. So then I truly asked myself almost on every situation. How can I whatever it is that I want to change, and that has helped me a ton when He comes to the refrain without getting super Google or really having to learn a lot of things. Right. So that was a number one, right? Like, that’s a tool that is like, really observing your thoughts. So number one would be the blog that I see is that people are not aware of their thoughts. So that’s why we started with growth mindset and, and fixed mindset. Because you may be on a fixed mindset, and you may not even know it, and you have to observe your thoughts for a while in order to be Oh, okay, I think that I am telling all these fucking bullshit to myself. Okay. For the longest time, I’ll tell you this story, I will keep going. I used to, like walk by this mirror that is in my house. And I used to be like, Look at my stomach. And I was like, Guys, I’m like, 110 pounds, okay? Like people literally, when they meet me in person, they’re like, oh, like, it’s just crazy. And I had all these ideas about the way I looked. Okay, so the thing is, is it a fact? Is it the truth, then that is your perception. We’re not going to talk so much about that today. But we’re going to get eventually there. But I want you to challenge and reframe, challenge and reframe and constantly be working towards moving towards growth mindset, okay? So okay, so the mindset block that I see a lot is, I am so afraid of what people are going to think of me. And while that is valid at the beginning of your business, because at the beginning, you may be going live on your Instagram, your personal Instagram, you may be going live on your personal Facebook, which by the way, I recommend doing forever and ever and ever, as you’re meeting people, but whatever, that’s a different thing. My thing is, at any level, that is a new level we set right. So what happens is at the beginning, you are probably really scared or auntie Susie telling you, why don’t we doing going live or dancing on reels or I don’t know, whatever it is that you’re doing, right? But then once you get a little bit better, you are going to have the same fucking thought about what is the other photographer, the other coach, the other realtors are going to think of me? Are they going to think I’m good? Are they gonna think I’m bad? This is the thing. You have to truly adopt, and no fucks given mindset, okay. And this is where we’re going with a title that no fucks given unapologetic mindset for personal branding, which is none of the people that are going to judge you are number one, paying your salary or giving you a paycheck. And number two, those people do not care about you, those people all they care is about themselves. So one of the challenge and reframe that I love around this mindset blog is what if you took yourself out of the equation, and you would start thinking of the people you can help. And this becomes a little a little bit easier as you get farther and farther along in your business. And you see the results that you have with people. And you see how whatever it is that you do, right, like if you’re a service provider, you see the difference that you’re making in their life and with the service that you provide. And it starts getting really fulfilling, but at the first few years, sometimes it’s hard to get there. But the thing is, and this is I don’t even know who said this, and it could be sound really cliche is the people who matter, don’t care, the people who matter are there to help you and most likely one to help you. And the people who care, the ones that are criticizing the ones or maybe are saying oh, look at her who she thinks she is. They do not matter if you think about it, those people are your not your true friends. Those people don’t have your like bank account in their mindset in their mind. They’re not thinking about you. They’re thinking about themselves. They’re thinking, Oh, I could never do that. Or oh my god, I can’t believe she’s doing that. That’s their problem. Their opinion of you. It cero fucking of your problem. And it takes a lot of exercising of your willpower to actually do this because and this is where our subconscious work is so important. We’re not going to talk about that. But if you listen to episode two with Erin Nicole, a lot of the things are subconscious so you we may have shame we may have a lack of Have confidence when it comes to what we’re saying. A lot of what I teach is and why everything in my brand is be you is because what we are doing is we are undoing the layers of this onion, right? So for me, one of the things was I didn’t grow up with a lot of confidence, because my mom without knowing it, that she didn’t know this, but she made all the decisions for me. And then when I made a decision, she you know, she gave me her opinion. But what happened was, so my decisions always felt, and this is on me. It’s always on us, you guys. Just so you know, this is on me how I took it. I felt like she was criticizing my decisions. So I was not confident on making the decisions. I was not confident on sharing what I thought, because I was constantly being shut down, right? Like, if you don’t know, oh, now it’s time for the adults to talk or whatever the case was like, they didn’t do it. That’s all they were they knew, right. So what it’s so important about this, though, is, the more awareness you have, and the more you start working in your mindset, and the more you practice doing the thing, showing up online, showing up on Instagram showing up whatever it is showing up on your podcast, the easier is going to get but at all at any level. Guys, you’re going to think oh my god, what are people going to think? Right? So you have to let go of that. And you do that little by little by little, little. Now, these is a little different than imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is a real thing, by the way. But I feel like like thinking about what people think about, let’s talk a little bit about strategy for a second, the reason why you’re going online and you are talking about your business is to reach your ideal client. So what happens is, if you start being very strategic about only being in front of the people that pair the right audience, right, Auntie Suzy is not your audience, your cousin, that is maybe 75 years old. They’re not your audience. So this is where you start kind of like using that as strategy. I mean, okay, so one of the things for me was it took a long time to turn my audience from bartenders and friends, and just people from my childhood, into now I have an audience, even on my personal Facebook of women business owners, but it took years of me being in business to turn that around, right. So when you show up to serve the person, and you show up in the place that that person is at, it’s so much easier, because you are talking to that one person that you can actually help with your service with your brand, with your experience with everything that you’re sharing. So these no fucks given the unapologetic mindset of personal branding, I’m going to tell you, this is what it’s going to take you farther than anything else. And a lot of the work that you’re going to do in your mindset is going to come down to this because the more you keep doing it, the less you’re going to care, or the less sensitive you’re going to be to the thoughts of other people. And I’m not talking about like hurting their feelings. I’m talking about you being sensitive about what they say of what they feel. Now, let’s talk about haters for a second. You’re always going to have caterers at some point, in your journey, at the beginning may be family telling you I have no idea why you’re doing this. And then eventually you’re gonna have somebody that’s the same than you that might want to discredit you, or a friend that goes in business and that’s exactly the same that you are whatever it is, okay? You’re going to have haters, that’s okay. The thing is, you’re not here to please everybody. You are in these wildlife that you have to grow personally and spiritually and you open a business to help people that your mission, your vision, write it down, put your blinders have on and go. Okay, so when it comes to the imposter syndrome, and I’m actually going, I want to bring somebody to talk about these former therapy and she’s a coach’s coach now, and she talks a ton about imposter syndrome. But one of the best things you can do about your imposter syndrome is to actually break the sign That’s about it. Okay? Like, shame keeps a lot of people from really feeling fraud or land and feeling like, like, I’m not good enough, I’m not good at this. But when you start talking to other people, and I’m gonna tell you this, because I’ve done it, once I broke the silence, and I got vulnerable about guys, I don’t feel 100% Every day people are like, you have so much energy? Yes, I do. And sometimes, I don’t feel good enough. Sometimes, I have to like, pump myself up. And I always tell this story, I have a folder in my phone, with all the testimonials of clients and text inside of our Slack groups, and things that people will text me at the beginning of my journey of how working with me change their brands, or how working with me has a influenced them. I even have messages from people on Instagram that says, hey, besides like, you’ve just been on Instagram, like, honestly, you’re inspiring me every day to do the thing, right? So I keep those because when I don’t feel enough, I remind myself that I’m making a difference. And that what I’m doing works. And when I broke the silence about this is starting to fade away, it started to feel okay to share that. I don’t feel 100% Every single day, right? That maybe there is days that I feel more confident than others. So then same, this comes out, again, the reframe, separating my feelings from the fact we’re going to have a whole episode about this. Because as I’m going through my life coaching certification, I’m learning so much about how we actually feel something in our body that we actually, that’s a response that we used to have when we were kids. But I want to be more averse and more knowledgeable about it before I create a whole episode on the podcast. But this is where you challenge and you reframe right like separate your feelings, your feeling of not enough that imposter syndrome, to the fact that is what I do when I pull from my phone. And I’m looking at all these messages and videos and interviews that I have done with clients of mine. And I’m like, You know what, I am changing lives, okay? It happens to everyone. As you get better, it may happen from time to time, but it’s very normal at the beginning of your journey. And chess, realize that just because you might feel dumb or stupid or not enough or not confident, actually doesn’t mean that you are so the other mindset blog that I see is people saying I only have 100 followers, I only have 300 followers. I only have 1000 followers. Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Yes, we all started somewhere. So we are about 4000 followers on Instagram right now. And since I started my business, I actually never concentrated on followers, okay, I been concentrating on creating community on creating a a group of people that are connected to my message of being yourself, of truly running businesses and growing businesses from who you are. And I’m really feeling better, I’m being better and not just much about what you do, but how you are about it and creating community around that message, I suppose to shares how many followers do I have? Because at the end of the day, I’m also running a business here. But I also want people that are engaged to my message that they’re not just there because of the pretty photo right? Or they’re not just there to copy my content or whatever it is. So on the other side, I’m also running a business and I can tell you right now I build a multiple six figure business. We’d like right now we shot I think hit 4000 followers, so I hit six figures in my business with maybe 2000 followers. So the good news is we all start somewhere. You do not need a huge audience, but you do need an engaged audience. The bad news is that you are looking at other people. You’re comparing. You’re looking at others people’s story, like success definition, others people’s business structures and frameworks. And you’re comparing your chapter one or your After five when somebody’s chapter 20 520-627-3050, right? So what I want you to do in here is to really start looking on your own fucking lane. Where are you in your journey? What is the next step in front of you adopt a growth mindset that you are learning. Right? I had a friend one time as I am growing my team. And right now we have a team of three, me and two other people and some contractors. One of the things that the best advice that I got from my friend than if you’re listening, I love you, I was, I came from corporate where I was managing a team of 20. So when I came into my business, the logical way to go was to hire people and teach them how to do video how to do this, how to do that. And it was easy for me to manage that team. But what was not easy was going live and talking to people or going networking, which it comes really natural to me. But what where she was going with this was, you want to lean on the skills that you have. And allow yourself to grow into the skills that you don’t have. So when it comes to how how big is your audience and how many followers you have, number one is start where you’re at, nurture your community and grow to it. Allow yourself to grow to that place. Okay? Stop comparing a stop looking at other people. And thinking that you’re going to be happier when you get there. Which takes me to the next one, which is most of us are thinking that when we hit certain level of income, we’re going to be happier. When we have these many clients, we’re going to be happier. When I don’t know when x happens. I’m going to be happier. I’m going to tell you right now. And we’re going to do a whole different episode about running subconscious patterns. But the thing is, that I don’t know if you ever somebody told you everything you need is inside you. I used to get so aggravated when people told me that because I was like, I have no fucking idea what they’re talking about. But the truth is, that’s what they were talking about I was running patterns of self sabotage, where I would get to a place, my business would be doing amazing would make a lot of money. And then I would start feeling and the serving, I would start taking actions from the place. And then of course, I wasn’t making any money because undeserving making decisions from that place, right. So everything I needed to overcome that was inside of me. But it was overcoming the pattern that I was running that I was the belief that I was not good enough. So you truly trust in the process. During the deep work, which is actually starting with the awareness, you start at the conscious level, which is getting aware of what is happening, moving away from that fixed mindset, getting into growth mindset, which will allow you to also explore different tools and different things to actually tap into the subconscious. Because if you don’t believe and you think that you cannot change, guess what, you’re not going to change, nothing’s gonna change. If you believe that you’re stuck. You’re stuck because you’re making decisions from being stuck. Okay? So when you’re able to move into this place where the goal is not the happiness, the happiness is inside of you. And one of the things that has changed so much for me, as I am in business, and I’m I’m literally challenging and reframing, challenging and reframing. As we were putting together the bibra live event, there was a lot of things to do you guys like the event is in five days, and I still have so much to do. And I’m sure it’s going to be a success because I can see it in my mind. But the thing is every day, instead of feeling overwhelmed, I allow myself to enjoy it. And I allow myself to be okay, this is new, how am I going to do it? How am I going to learn about it? And everyday I actually have a document that I’ve been putting together of all the things that I didn’t know how to do and in through reality, I didn’t know how to do any of them. I never I didn’t even like put together my own wedding you guys. Like this was like putting together a wedding all over again. But I actually had to do it, right. So I want you to really come back inward. I really want you to start looking at these different mindset blocks that we talked about. Challenge and reframe, challenge and reframe. And the last one that I want to present to you, which is a challenge and reframe but like gave the name to this episode is this what is the no fucks? Given philosophy? Right? We talked about comparative comparison, we talked about caring about what other people thought, we talked about us judging ourselves, right? Like looking at our own thoughts and how we’re judging ourselves. I’m not good at this. I’m not good enough. I don’t have enough money. I don’t know how to do it. This philosophy that I’m proposing to you is, what would this look like? If you didn’t give a fuck? If you didn’t give a fuck? What will this look like? And this usually makes things so clear to me. So I did this. On the fourth try of this episode. And I was if I would just speak from my heart. And I didn’t care about making a mistake. I didn’t care about other people judging me. What would this look like? And the answer was clear. I would sit down in this chair, I would press play, and I will tell people about my story. And I came here and I did shares that and while I Irish, I’m following a little bit of properties of what I wanted to talk about. I share his stories with you and things that I didn’t have plan. I’m speaking from my heart. So I want to ask you, if you didn’t give a fuck? How big? Could your personal brand be? Furion give a fuck? What other people thought? Can you stand in front of a room? And instead of practicing speaking your truth, can you start practicing teaching on Zoom? Can you start practicing pitching yourself to other podcasts? Can you start practicing getting your photos and putting them out there and stop criticizing yourself? Stop giving a fuck for everything you do. And stop self criticizing. So this is it. This is the end of the episode. And I wanted to leave you with that what these look like and this is the thing that you’re worried about. If you didn’t give a fuck.