In this episode, I’m discussing  the importance of authenticity in personal branding and the dangers of perfectionism. Why you need to be true to yourself  and not be afraid to express opinions and unique perspectives. I will break down  the concept of authenticity and I’m giving you  practical tips for finding the balance between authenticity and striving for excellence. 

We dove deep into: 

00:00 Introduction: Authenticity versus Perfectionism

02:55 Defining Authenticity and the Dangers of Perfectionism

07:21 The Importance of Self-Discovery in Building an Authentic Personal Brand

31:44 Striking the Balance: Authenticity and High Standards

35:54  Conclusion: Bringing Your True Self into Your Personal Brand

This episode is full of gems and I cannot wait to hear your main takeaways.

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Ati Grinspun  0:00  

Welcome, welcome to another episode of the Be You Brand podcast. I am so excited to bring you this topic today because I think that is going to help you get unstuck from wherever you’re at. And really start shining your bright light into the world. We’re going to be talking about authenticity versus perfectionism. And this topic was actually inspired by one of our listeners, her name is Crystal vias, I put a little note at the top of my Instagram. And this one was the one I got a ton of them. And I said, I’m recording the podcast this weekend, throw me some ideas, and this one really jump off the page for me. So if you want me to talk about a topic or work on something that you really want to go the pawn, and you want to send me ideas, head to my Instagram, ad RT, that G that branding, and shout out to Crystal Diaz, for these inspiration, you can go give her a follow at first that love that you she has a beautiful line of jewelry. She’s a self care advocate. She’s a mom of three little ones. Thank you so much for this suggestion. Now, I want to talk a little bit about authenticity. What the fuck is it, the whole internet is talking about being more authentic. The whole internet says, Just be you. It sounds so easy, but it’s not. Because what I found in my own journey, and the journey of those kinds of clients at this point that have gone through that be you brand Academy, literally, we help you build a brand that is 100% view is that most of us are so fucking conditioned, most of us don’t want to steer the pod. Most of us don’t want to say what we truly think because we are so afraid of either being criticized or looking stupid, or being wrong, you cannot be wrong for your opinions. I’m going to say that if you’re saying this is the Absolute Truth, you can be wrong. But you cannot be wrong for having an opinion about something. And I think that even in my own upbringing, I grew up in a household where my mom would roll her eyes every time I would say something, right. So I became an adult that I was so scared to say what I really wanted to say now I want to give you a heads up from this, I always been very opinionated. But when it came to actually going online, and talking about how I saw things, I didn’t even know how to go about it. So we’re going to talk today about what is Hilton TCT, what it means to have an authentic brand, how to not cave into perfectionism. And I’m also going to walk you through some of the dangers of perfectionism. And I’m going to tell you some stories around these. And we’re going to end the episode with a few things about how to find the balance, because perfectionism is one thing, but you also you want to strive for excellence, you want to strive for doing good work. And where is the gray line, I did a lot of research to actually get into this topic, because my mission in this world is to help women become more of who they already are, and bring that into their business. So one of the things is when I first started my business, and I started looking at branding and branding myself and what I wanted to say, there were a lot of coaches and people out there that what they were doing and they’re still people doing this is okay, we’re gonna brand you like this, and you’re gonna show up in this particular way. And I was like, okay, but that’s not me. I actually am not that person. These could apply to you in so many levels. We’re gonna go through this in a minute. For example, even me doing this podcast today on a Saturday afternoon, not giving a fuck about what people think because I’m working on a weekend because I actually love it. But when this idea of our authenticity versus perfectionism landed in my inbox, I was like, oh my god, this is meant to be because each of us has a unique experience a unique perspective in life that truly nobody else has. And we give our gift to the world by being 100% us. So what do you think it is the only thing that differentiates you from all the other people doing what you do? Why do you think there is people online that you are obsessed with and people that you just scroll by you have this magnetism to certain people, you have these pool towards certain people. You probably follow a lot Are people that do the same thing, and this applies for all of us, we’re all service providers. So there is a ton of people doing the same thing we do. And the only thing that makes you different is you being you, your stories, your unique point of view, your unique opinions, when you’re not letting those out. Because you’re trying to be perfect, what you’re truly doing is you’re literally dimming your light, so you can fit with everybody else. So when you’re thinking that you’re not standing out, truly what is happening, is your shots actually striving to stay in the same way that everybody is you don’t want to steer the puck. So these can come from things when you were a child, maybe you were told you were too much. Raise your hand, if you’re a total, you’re too much if you’re the girl that actually went to dance class, and they were like, yeah, no, she said destruction. But the thing is, that is probably the thing that you are shying away from. And that is the very one thing that makes you unique. And that is how you bring your gift to the world. So I want to talk first about the dangers of perfectionism. Because if you tend to want everything to be perfect before you take action before you put it in the world before you put it on social media before you go on your stories before you launch the course before you sell your service, whatever it is, I want you to know that it’s hurting you in so many ways that you don’t even know the first thing that I did was going to do some research, because I have my opinions. But I also love referring to psychology, inner work, all the things. So I want to actually look for the definition of perfectionism. And this is what I found refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. And I was like, okay, refusal to accept any standard short of perfection. So then I kept digging, and I ended up in Psychology Today, I’m actually going to put the link for these on the show notes. Because I think it’s really important that you read this article, specially if you fall in the perfectionism category. And this is what I found. And I want you to listen very carefully. Perfectionism is driven primarily by internal pressure, such as the desire to avoid failure, or harsh judgment, there is likely a social component as well, because perfectionist tendencies have increased substantially among young people over the past 30 years, regardless of gender or culture, along with the presence of social media, and the social media comparison that it elicits. So it made me think, at the core of being perfectionist is the desire of avoiding failure, and you my friend, or an intrapreneur. And if you are a business owner, I am going to break it to you, there’s gonna things that you’re gonna do that they ain’t gonna fucking work. It shows how it works. Even if you have a mentor, even if you have a coach, I have coaches I have mentors is my responsibility to test things out. Look at the result, tweak, make it better tweak, make it better. Now, if you’re looking at every single one of those things as a failure, instead of feedback, guess what you’re being a perfectionist. However, success comes from almost like failing and failing one more time. This doesn’t mean you need to fail like huge things. But you may be failing on very small things daily. So I’m going to tell you a little story. I love stories because the stories connect, so maybe vulnerable. This is our authenticity, I have changed a little bit of my messaging and I change my ideal plan. I’m talking to a woman that is a little bit more ahead in her journey, a woman that has been in business for two or three years, she’s already worked with some clients. And in that transition, I had to test my message in that transition. There were many social media posts that completely fell flat, and nobody even liked. Okay, there were things on my Facebook group that people didn’t even see him mashing. If I’m looking at every single one of those posts, and I would stop I would have no business. He want you to start thinking how this perfectionism is actually stopping you from getting what you want. The other one that I am getting from the Psychology Today. Description is avoid harsh judgment. This is the thing. We’re living in a world where social media Either way we grow our businesses now we’re also doing in, in person. We’re also networking. We’re also meeting people, we’re meeting people in zoom criticism and judgment will come to you no matter what. The moment you are putting your opinions and your knowledge into the world, there’s going to be people that like it, and people that don’t, there is going to be some of you that finish this episode are going to be like, That was fucking amazing. And you’re fired up, and some people are gonna be like, screw you it. And that’s okay. There’s going to be people that are going to be like, Oh, I can’t believe she just did an episode on her cup on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, I can’t believe she actually works on Saturdays. Oh,

Ati Grinspun  10:40  

I can’t believe this. I can’t believe she has. I don’t know, I have an accent. Some people don’t understand what I say. And that’s okay. And guess what, I can be bothered about it. Or I can give zero fucks. Because when I give zero facts, I’m helping people. I am helping the people that I am here to serve everybody else do not matter. So what is perfectionism? Anyway, I want you to ask yourself, what is perfectionism anyway? What are you comparing with? What are you comparing yourself with that it’s an ideal of perfection, because perfection is just an idea. So for example, let me give you my own example, what would make a perfect version of me somebody that is more eloquent speaking, somebody that shows up on social media with her makeup and hair done every single day, who made the perfection ideal that you have in your mind, I only to ask this, because the moment you start comparing is the moment that you lose control of what you’re trying to create. One of the things that we do inside of the Academy, we talk a lot about these, and I do these at turn myself is lower scrolling as much as we can. Now I want to tell you this, because this is transparency, sometimes I fail miserably at this in your subconscious, your brain, all it’s doing is comparing, comparing, compare, I’m better and worse, I’m better, I’m working, I’m making more, I’m making less, I am better than this person, I am less than this person. Ooh, she’s so pretty all the house is beautiful, your subconscious, all it’s doing is comparing. So instead of the be run economy, when people are doing market research, because they are looking at people that are doing the same than they are doing. We tell them for two weeks, when you’re doing market research, you’re gonna go away and you’re gonna look at these people, like you will do need to know what in your market. But after that, you’re gonna go in your cocoon, you’re going to create your message and you’re going to look inward, because when you are looking inward, is when you actually start realizing what is truly you and what is not you. Because when you start asking questions when you start asking the right questions, and I’m gonna give you some examples here in a minute is when you start realizing what it’s coming from you and what you’re just copying from other people. When people tell me I’m looking for inspiration. I’m not saying don’t scroll, I’m saying minimize that you want to be creating your job to bring out and theory into your brand is to create not to consume, the more you consume, the more influenced by other people you’re going to be. And this actually happened to me, I came up with an idea I came up with a name for something I wanted to sell. And three days later, I saw somebody posting about it. And I was like, Dude, I saw these from her. And immediately I put Opal back into my phone if you don’t know what Opal is, I am not sponsored by them. But they should because I talk about it all the time. It’s an app that you put on your phone that you can said times like when can you look at social media or whatever, there is so many reasons why I use all power but one of those is I don’t want to be caught up on mindless scrolling because I don’t even know what’s coming at me because it’s mindless. So if you are having a hard time with authenticity, and we perfection is stopping scrolling could be a saving grace. So when it comes to your personal brand, perfectionism can show up in so many ways. I actually made a list because I was thinking of my clients and people that I work with. One is procrastination. So if you’re procrastinating creating content if you’re procrastinating to go live if you’re procrastinating to create videos, the question to ask when you are not being able to do it is ask yourself, Okay, what am I scared of right now? What is this showing up for me right now? Do I have any fear that this is not going to come out the way I envision it’s going to come out? Maybe you have fear of being judged? Maybe you have fear of doing it wrong, wrong. Bear to what? So I want you to start thinking, if you feel like you’re procrastinating a ton is this actually perfectionism, like waving its tail in there. The other one is, you’re striving for perfection is actually leading to negative outcomes. Because the more you’re trying to be perfect, I’m going to give an example. So you’re trying, let’s say that you’re trying to create a course, and you’re trying to make it all perfect. This is actually somebody’s story. This is a client of mine I have been working on for a few years now. And she is amazing at creating content. And she creates all these reels about she lives in a beautiful place, like all these coffee shops and all of this, and I was like, okay, when are you going to talk about your offer? She’s I’m still working on the flow on the backend. Everything that I’m going to cover, I’m like, okay, while you’re working, why aren’t you sharing with people, the back screen, your idea,

Ati Grinspun  15:56  

your thought process is not ready yet. It’s not ready yet. I want you to think about this. Every single day that she’s going on social media, not talking about her process, what she’s putting out there, the course that she’s creating it today that somebody else is selling courses on the same thing that she’s selling courses. That’s it in a different way, it’s a day she’s missing out on selling, I don’t know you, but we’re all in business, at least I’m in business, to make money, I want to have an impact. I want to change the world. In order to do that people need to buy my products. So if I don’t sell, how can I help somebody. So the negative outcomes that you’re seeing in your business, there may be tied with perfectionism, and you need to work super fucking hard to let go of that shit. There is many ways that you can do it, I actually was really called to create an authenticity checklist that I’m going to give you a link at the end of this episode. But the thing is, you have to do the thing, you have to look inwards, and stop looking outwards. Now, a few more ways that I think that perfectionism really showing up for people when they’re building their personal brand is all or nothing mentality. So for example, the course lady, right? Oh, when my course is ready, and it’s all recorded, I’m going to sell it girl, you’re going to spend the next six months of your life recording something that you do not even know if people want you are going this is one of the reasons why I am so against actually shuts recording videos, transparency, again, doing these episodes and recording these episodes, and doing these videos is so much harder than actually going live. When I go live, I feel like I have this connection with the people that are watching, right, and I’m not going to stop, I’m not going to stop and be I’m gonna say that again. Right. So I will turn TCP flows, when you are recording and you’re trying to make it perfect, you’re gonna go through 10 Fucking iterations of the same thing, when probably the first one was just good enough for you to get the message out there. And I think that a lot of people do not embrace messy action, your business, your dreams, everything you want to build it on the other side of messy action. And I want you to understand this, your standard of perfection, which by the way doesn’t exist because again, what is perfect, the person on the other side, who’s likely to steps behind you has no fucking clue that is not your standard of perfection, that person is showing up for your value, that person is showing up for what you’re there to teach. That person is showing up for your product, your service, and for the story and the connection that they have to you this one, the more you are trying to be perfect, you’re now allowing creativity to flow because again, if you’re comparing to other people, and you’re looking at what other people are doing, and you’re looking at their videos, you’re looking at their photos, when is your thing coming up? When are you allowing you to come into the picture. So the other one that I see with a lot of clients when they are in perfectionism mode is doing incredibly busy work over truly doing income producing activities. This one’s comes back to the story, I told you my client with a course. Because if you’re creating a ton of fucking content, and you’re not making money, but the truth is that you’re trying to be perfect, and you’re putting all of this content that doesn’t take you to make any money that is now moving the needle forward, but it’s taking all this time, you’re gonna get frustrated, you’re gonna think that what you’re doing is not working, when in reality, it’s just a shift, right? Why I keep coming back to the selling of your offer. Example is because this is where I see the most a lot of you don’t want to put cultural actions on your content. A lot of you are I don’t want to be salesy. What you have to learn. So at the beginning, you may sound a little salesy, that is Hi was in network marketing. But when I started my business six years ago, when I look right now and my content, I cringe. But guess what, I still have a fucking residual income even though I don’t even have the business anymore. So do you understand the power of you taking massive action, the power of you letting go of whatever ideal of perfection you actually have, and really leaning into be our authenticity, let’s shift and let’s talk about what does he really mean? And how do you lean into it and I talked so much about it that this is the thing. In a world where knowledge and AI is the new norm. Thought Leadership is the new authenticity, your opinions, your convictions is not just your knowledge, I want you to understand this knowledge is very necessary. I could not teach you personnel running if I don’t know shit. However, what gives value to what we are doing here is the way you teach it is your opinions of what works and what doesn’t work your experiences around it. How you seen these work for other people. Because I could have gone to church to be me like, I want to do a authenticity versus perfection podcast episode. Give me some ideas. Now this is the thing. What is important here is my point of view. That’s why you’re here in the podcast. You’re not here for me to regurgitate what Google or GDP has to say about authenticity. Which brings me to these thought I actually I do a lot of research for the episode because I wanted to really understand what were my thoughts about it, which this is a hint for you. If you’re not sure about what your opinions are about a topic, go do some research and write down what are the things you’re like, Okay, that’s bullshit. That’s bullshit. You’re not teaching me anything. So this is what I found, though. I went to look for how to build an authentic personal brand. And I was like, this is a stupid, everybody’s saying this. Tell people your core values. Be transparent. Tell your brand story. I’m like, Okay, people, we all know that shed, how do women get there? And I was like, Okay, this is something right? Because you go all over the internet, people are like, express your authentic self. Unlike Yeah, bitch. I know that. How do I do that. And that’s what you’re here. So when people come first into the beaver and Academy, one of the things that we do is we have them do a self discovery module. But once I started my business, I realized that I had a lot of opinions. But I didn’t really have I had a lot of opinions around what I was doing. I came from being a bartender for 20 years. So I really didn’t do a lot of research on the things that then became my business. I started as a photographer, and I was like, Okay, how are other people doing this? What do I think about this? I didn’t really dug deep at the beginning. And one of the reasons why I love helping women be more authentic is because I don’t think that I even knew what I thought about any of this. When I first started my business, what were my thoughts? And what were the things that were others people thought? And what were the things that I would say if I didn’t care what other people thought? These are the same questions that are still asking myself every time I’m up leveling, every time I’m confused. Every time I’m feeling like maybe I’m not showing 100% aligned. Some of those questions are why are you doing what you do, as opposed to doing something else? Now, this is super important. Because this comes back. Do you see how this you and only you can answer this? When people talk about transparency? When people talk about you telling your brand story? This is what we’re talking about? It’s you being able to express why is this important to you? Do you see how this is you going inward? This is not you taking from somebody else are you taking from the world? Do you see the difference? How are your core values being shown? So for example, for me, I didn’t even understand what my core values I used to I remember is to say, Oh, family is one of my top core values. Yeah, but what does that mean to you? What does this actually mean? How does that show up in your content? How does that show up maybe and for everybody is going to be different?

Ati Grinspun  24:51  

So I want to give you an example for me. Part of that I have talked very openly for a few years about one of my big his goals was to help my parents move here. Now, this year, that became a reality, literally, my dad has just arrived. He’s the last one to arrive from Argentina two days ago. Now, for me showing that on my stories showing up on my content, that’s important, because that’s something that I have shared with my audience for a long time. Now, for other people, family may actually mean keep them out of their social media, because they want to be private. Do you understand what your core values are going to show up in so many different ways? All of those things are going to affect the way you show up in your brand. But if you don’t know what those are, how can you talk about them? How can you infuse your programs with it? How can you bring in clients that they are aligned with the same core values if you don’t even know what they are? Right? Like what’s creating this episode, I got really call to create a fool out anticipate checklists and prompts for you. Because there is about 10 questions that I guarantee you that when you start answering those, this is like the checklist, right? You’re going to be like, Oh, this is how I can show up more authentically, without betraying my beliefs, without betraying who I am. So I want to talk about a few things about authenticity that always come up with my clients. So some of these come back to the visuals be like I want to show up as my best. But how do I do that? Do I have to have my hair done every day? Do I need to look beautiful, and this is my thing, this is going to be different for everybody. And there is no right or wrong, you, my friend are the one that are going to set those guidelines for yourself. I personally don’t care. My whole brand is about elevating. And really bringing your highest self, my highest self is about feeling my highest self is about a light. My high self is not just about having my hair done and my makeup done every single day. Now with that being said, most of the times I like to be put together for my life’s for my videos for whatever it is. But today, I felt great by showing up in my workout clothes. Do you understand how that is going to be absolutely personal to you. And I want you to understand this. A lot of those perfect curated feeds that you see online, people took a long time to get there. That is a beautiful friend of mine. Her brand is absolutely curated. I love it. And she always says this, When you go to look at her Instagram five years ago, she literally had her kid in her arm most of the time. As her business grew, she was able to afford video, and photos. And same with me, if you go to my feed, you’re going to find an array of professional photos, graphic design stuff. But that took time. Who are you? Who are you? How do you want to show up? How can you be your best version without beating yourself up for where you’re at today. The other one that shows up for a lot of my people. And these trigger warning for all of you is people will call me to do personal branding photos. And then they’re like I know but I need to wait until I lose weight. Or I just had a kid I want to lose a few pounds. This is what I tell people your message everyday, you’re not putting your message out there you are losing on sales, you’re losing an impact. You’re losing on the difference that you want to make in the world and you’re losing out on the life that you want to have. So my question to you is what is the price that you are paying for perfectionism? I want you to say this, can you both be authentic and strive for high standards without tipping into perfectionism? Yes. So some of my take on this is this. I’m a personal branding photographer. So this is the truth. When you have videos when you have photos, when you actually have the answers to all of these questions looking inward before you even look our now you have all of the tools and the resources to pull from your own authenticity bag. Right now, even in your photos when people tell me do I need to look at somebody I’m not. I’m like no, we can elevate who you are your own style. So I’m gonna give you an example of this. Some of my clients, they’re like, I actually don’t like wearing heels. That’s I never wear heels. I don’t even wear heels for a wedding. I’m like Okay, so let’s explore and It could be that you love wearing ripped jeans and T shirts. Can we add some accessories to that? Can we add professional light makeup to that? Right? So now it’s you an elevated version of you. And a question that I always ask people is this in this whole self discovery of authenticity, I want you to ask yourself, are you allowing yourself to take up space? Because this just was a download when I was talking about the photos, a lot of you are defending the anxious the simple girl. And that is perfect if that is actually who you are. But it isn’t actually who you are. And so I want you to get really clear, how do you see the best version of yourself showing up? How do you show up as her today? How can you strive for high standards while allowing yourself to learn through the process? So let’s talk about this balance, because I love having high standards. And I’m going to give you an example of this through the last three years inside of the Beaugrand Academy, we have been teaching content. And we have been teaching in one way, but through the last year, I have changed the way I create content, things have changed, the algorithm has changed, trends have changed. So I actually went back to the program and I started making changes. Now when I first started with your brand, I need to know everything that I know now that didn’t stop me from helping people that didn’t stop my clients from seeing results, because I was already helping somebody that was two steps behind me. So the moment that you’re striving for perfection is a new thing that you need one more certification, you need to take one more course there is people out there that you’re not helping a few of my favorite tools for you to strike this balance of being authentic while striving for high standards. Number one, when you are setting goals, instead of setting number goals, can you set goals that you have control over focusing on progress over perfection, progress means I’m striving for that this is what I want to reach, am I moving towards that daily? This is key. If you see yourself moving towards the target, then you are succeeding my friend. Because nobody got their Instagram to be absolutely perfect and curated in the first three days of their business. Now we help people with this right we give them guidelines, we give them tools, we make it easier however, I want you to understand this progress is where it’s at. So things that you can control example, you can control how many times you show up on social media, you can control how many times you go networking, you can control taking a post that maybe didn’t resonate with anybody and rewrite it to see if resonates with people, you can control how much you promote a product, you can control how many conversations you have with people, this is what you cannot control. You cannot control how many people buy because you cannot obligate people to buy from you. But you can get better at doing sales calls. You can get better at your messaging, so you get more sales calls. Do you see what I’m saying that there is things that are under your control, and things that are not under your control. When you start focusing on the things that you can control and getting better at those, then you can start seeing more results. And this is something that for me has helped so much getting out of perfectionism. Now the other one is really leaning into trusting that your opinions and who you are is fucking enough. Because it is when you

Ati Grinspun  34:21  

have to step into your personal brand power, you have to practice every day to be the first one that trust that what you are doing is helping the world because you’re doing it in this way. And if it worked for you, it’s going to work for other and that you are entitled to evolve and change and learn as you go. Let’s talk about this concept of the be you brand factor. So the reason why I love self questioning and self discovery is because the moment you start asking these questions about yourself Have to yourself, you start feeding into building this brand that truly is you that nobody can copy, nobody can copy the way I talk, nobody can copy it. Now they can say the same words, which they do. People copy me all the time. However, it doesn’t matter. If you are just out there trying to build a true brand, you need to look inward, what’s important to you. And that’s what I want you to do after this podcast episode, I want you to download the 10 questions for your authenticity. And I want you to fill them out. And I want you to start putting them and infusing them into your content, I want you to start thinking, Okay, what is more important to me that I actually share with the world, or that I’m perfect. So for me, actually, one of the things that is so important when it comes to authenticity for my brand, this doesn’t need to be your brand, is actually showing that I don’t have a perfect life, that people tell me when it’s easy. You have such a cool life. And you’re a triathlete, and you go hiking, yeah, but I also have a family and I have a kid, and health issues and all the things. So when you show up authentically, you’re helping the people that are coming to steps behind you show us to actually do the thing, because they understand that if you can do it, they can do it you if I can do it, you can do it too. Now, you’re always on the driver’s seat, and you having the answers about what’s important to you why you’re doing what you’re doing. What are the things that are important for you to bring into the world about what you do? When you have them in writing, you can choose what are you willing to share? And what are you not willing to share? And that is okay, because our authenticity doesn’t mean that you need to be like telling everybody everything about your life authenticity is bringing your true self really finding what is that intersection between what you do and who you are, that only you can express in the way you express it for the people that you want to express it to. I hope that these episode, really touch your heart. Thank you Crystal for sending these inspiration. And again, if you want me to touch on a topic that you know is personal, brand oriented, business oriented, energy oriented, mindset oriented, personal branding, photography oriented, please send me a DM on RT. That G that branding. And I would love to put together an episode for you. And you can go download the authenticity checklist at the bottom here on the show notes. I’m also going to put it on the website. You can go to W W W rt greenspun.com forward slash podcast, and I can’t wait to see you next week. Bye you guys.