2. The Energetics of business with Erin Nicole Porter

Erin Nicole Porter  0:00  

Being You are being me, like in this case, as I’m like, Who are you without all the different masks without all the different conditionings? Like, what’s your truth? Like? What is your actual truth? And if you didn’t have 9000 things being thrown at your, you know, beliefs or whatever, like, what is that? And then how in your expression through your content, your social media be your branding? Are you actually letting like your true nature come out, and like take up the space that it wants to take up?

Ati Grinspun  0:29  

Welcome to the be you brand podcast.

I am your host, Ati Grinspun. And if you’re looking to build a million dollar personal brand, sell out your services, and do it all while living your best life and fulfilling your purpose. You come to the right place. We no fluff strategy at tiny bit of spice attitude, F bombs for days, mindset and energy work, we will grow a life and business that you absolutely love. One episode at a time. Welcome aboard my friend. 

Oh my god, you guys, I am so excited for this interview. Because this guest is so present. And so current to my story right now. So I was telling her that I had two other interviews that were supposed to be interview number one and interview number two for the podcast. And they had to reschedule and I felt like it was actually meant to be. So this is actually my first official guest on the bond card. So Erin, welcome to the be you brand.

Erin Nicole Porter  1:49  

Excited. I’m so excited. I have your first guest like yeah, let’s do it.

Ati Grinspun  1:54  

It’s completely unplanned. Like, honestly, because I like I didn’t plan it. Yeah, I’m gonna like read your actual bio. But then we’re gonna like jumping your story who you are normally amazing things that you’re doing for women in business. Because my heart is so full with everything that you’re doing. So ladies, you’re in for a treat here. Nicole Porter is a best selling author, podcast host class energetics of business coach for women intrapreneur, through somatic attachment repair, nervous system regulation and energy work. Aaron supports her clients on the deeper emotional work it takes to run a successful business. She is the founder of the quantum ripple effect Coach Training Institute, author of burnout to breakthrough and host of the energetics of business podcast. Welcome Aaron to the we ran Podcast. I’m so excited to have you. So for the listeners out there. I am currently about like three days away from starting actually, the quantum ripple effects certification. And this is why I think it’s so timely that she’s here on the podcast because I think there is so many layers to becoming a successful entrepreneur. And we’re going to talk about that today. So Aaron, can you start with telling us a little bit of like your story and how you ended up here because you’ve started in a completely different niche place?

Erin Nicole Porter  3:27  

Yeah, I’m so excited to be here. And you know, my journey was heavy on burnout my entire life. Like since I’ve been five years old, I’ve been very much how much can I go? How much can I do? How much can I achieve? My mom always tells the story and they tell it often now to before I started kindergarten, I wanted to ride my bike without training wheels, blow bubble with bubblegum, tie my shoes and be able to read and I was working on that constantly. And that became my entire life’s existence was how much can I do? How much can I achieve? How much can I keep going. And throughout my entire life, it led me in the hospital often because I would have burnout and they wouldn’t know they wouldn’t know what was wrong with me because I was constantly sick. But I was sick from all of the stress and then mix an eating disorder in there that I kind of stepped down just all of these things were on the external you wouldn’t know that I was sick had anxiety because I was very much had it all together go you know, doing all the things leadership working, that’s been my entire life’s Mo and when I was in grad school, as I was starting grad school, I was like okay, something has to change here like I can’t keep eating or not eating the way that I was like I was being healthy on the outside. But then there was also like, I was still binge eating I still was struggling with bulimia sometimes like all of those things were still popping up in very present. And that’s when I was like okay, let me get healthy in a way that’s actually going to be sustainable and start that journey. So in 2012 I started in network marketing that was kind of like my entry point into entrepreneurship, which I know a lot of people have right I feel like everyone can relate.

Ati Grinspun  5:01  

I feel like I’m gonna find out so many people that actually studied network marketing too.

Erin Nicole Porter  5:06  

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it’s it’s like a personal growth and development journey and my master’s in education. So I did, you know, in the roles that I was in, we did a lot of like crisis response, counseling, leadership, development, marketing, like that was kind of the lens in which that we learned from, so it’s doing those things simultaneously. And then I also started to realize, hey, I can make my own programs, I can make my own workouts and fitness and I had a membership and I started to grow my business that way. So more like a wellness. What I realized, obviously, working with people is more of the inner work that was holding them back from, you know, their bodies, and in all of that same thing with me, you know, and that led me down. I started transitioning then more into like business coaching said, a lot of people asked me, like, how did you start your brand and all of that, so I was helping them with that. But again, I kept coming back to that inner work. And it was the same thing with me. I was working with somebody. And, you know, she asked me how to do earn love as a child. And for me, it was through how much can I do like doing doing doing going on going like receiving? What didn’t feel safe? For me? It was how much can I achieve? How much can I do? And I realized, yeah, I’m like, yeah, yeah. And I realized, like, okay, that’s, that’s what I’m doing in my business, my business was just a mirror of that. And so I kept chasing every strategy out there. And while strategies needed, it’s not going to, like replace that internal piece that we have to work at. And so I started diving into subconscious reprogramming trauma, healing, attachment, work, breathwork, spirituality, and I just went deep, deep, deep down the rabbit hole, I’m in Enneagram. Five. So if I’m going to learn something, I’m gonna study it, I’m gonna go all in, I’m all in in areas, okay, there is

Ati Grinspun  6:48  

so many layers to what you just said. So I kind of want to unpack it, because I feel like for I’m gonna talk a little bit about my story and how I see myself on that, right? Like, we start a business, and then all of a sudden, we’re like, oh, shit, I have all these doubts, all these fears, especially if we’re running businesses where we are promoting ourselves online, right? Like, we self judge, like self doubt, all of those things. But then there is I feel like you are amazing at separating mindset work to these inner work. And I feel like very represented in that, because I did a ton of mindset work. And that’s actually what I’m currently teaching right inside of your brand. And it works. It works. But I think that is a moment where you find these wall where you’re doing something and you keep knocking, and you’re like, Okay, I can go further. And that was kind of my experience. And that’s how I actually ended up in Kyary. Because I’m like, Okay, I did all these mindset work, I advanced and I grew so much. But now again, I’m in a place of like, where it can grow anymore. So can you actually explain a little bit maybe like, what is the difference between this mindset work? Or what people recognize this mindset work, and the inner work with some of the modalities that you use? And that you bring to the table?

Erin Nicole Porter  8:07  

Yeah, great question. You know, I think for a lot of people mindset work. First, we kind of first find it through the lens of like, personal development, and we’re like, Okay, let me shift the way that I’m thinking about something. Let me look at something from a different perspective. Let me you know, reframe, and all of those things are really helpful. That’s going to be more of what I would call like your conscious mindset work. So that takes a little bit more of like, habitual effort to be like, Okay, what are the thoughts that I’m thinking and let me think about them differently. How I look at more of like, let’s say the inner work and going deeper than that is your conscious mind is about less than 1%. It’s about point 00 4%, your unconscious mind is about 99.006%. So that’s a huge difference, right? conscious, we can try to change our thoughts. But the thing is, is like we can change our thoughts. And while that does get momentum, it helps us to see things differently open up. It’s like if there’s a loop or a story that’s playing in your subconscious or trauma that stored in your body, you can think differently all the live long day, but it’s like it’ll get you to somewhere and then like you’re just saying something else has to pop up. So it’s like you have to start reprogramming the subconscious. And then another layer of that, too, is what’s actually happening in your nervous system. Because if there’s dysregulation in your nervous system, you’re going to see it pop up in every area of life and so many people will tell me constantly like I’m not stressed, but like, you know, their HRV says something different. You know, they’re like, everything is telling a different story. It’s like your body’s not going to lie, you can put on the mask you can run all the protection strategies which have kept us safe kept us alive, but again until you do the subconscious reprogramming, like okay, what are the belief systems, what are my value systems, what are the limitations, the memories, all of that and you go, okay, based on my childhood trauma, my attachment dynamics, once you start locking all of those things into place, I have found that it’s made that it makes a con Just mindset work collect a little bit more, like more of like the visualizations and those sorts of things, because you have to have those other pieces of the puzzle to complete everything.

Ati Grinspun  10:10  

Whew, I love this. So I feel like your knowledge is so deep and so vast and with all honesty, when you and I first spoke, and the first time I actually heard you speak on stage, and even through your podcasts, I was like, I have no idea what she’s talking about. Like it took a while for me to even grasp the concept. So one of the things that pops up for me out of what you just said, is regulating the nervous system, because this is one of the things that I could not grasp why I was constantly this roller coaster of emotions, that you actually helped me several times, to kind of calm down and really feel secure and safe in my body and recognize when I was having those feelings. So what I personally see a ton, either with my clients, like fear is a huge one, because people have the feeling that they shouldn’t have fear, right? Like when it’s not true, like the immediate response there. What is it fight or flight response? So can you speak a little bit what it actually means to have a regulated nervous system? Because I think that that’s becoming kind of like the talk. But most people don’t even understand what that actually means.

Erin Nicole Porter  11:27  

Totally. Yeah. So I think you just spoke to a couple of things that I’ll talk about, like trauma responses. And, you know, there’s times where we have and I want to make this clarification, too. Because sometimes when I describe the trauma responses, everyone’s like, wait, but is that isn’t that healthy and like, so there’s trauma responses, there’s like emotional responses that we have, which are very normal things that we have to our day to day life. And then there’s when things have been gone more into a trauma response, and then we have the dysregulation, so like, you know, our fight, flight freeze, and fawn is usually what we think of and we’re thinking of a lot of dysregulation in the nervous system in terms of a trauma response. So we’re you’re freezing and you can’t take action or you feel like you can’t move the flight

Ati Grinspun  12:10  

happens. Absolutely right. If you’re gonna go live, or if you want to speak but you are like, there is no way or

Erin Nicole Porter  12:17  

Yep, exactly, yeah. And then the flight response is pretty common. And like high achievers, it’s like, I’ll just keep working, I’ll just keep doing I’ll just keep going that same same, it’s like, okay, I can do that. By it’s like, very pushed through it kind of like aggression, go go go. I said, I mixed that a lot with on with flight sometimes too. Because people will be like, Go Go, go, but also let me just like, push and like, just bring this type of energy to it. And then find is more people pleasing codependency I need everybody to be okay, I definitely like have run that one a lot. And it leaks a lot in business. But the thing is, is like, all of those responses we’re operating from, you know, from fear, we’re operating from our past responses, and all of these different responses have these protection strategies to them. If I’m in flight, if I’m in freeze, if I’m doing all of these things, it’s because I’m trying to get safety in my body, because I don’t feel safe. And that’s how I’ve known in the past to run those responses in order to feel safe, or, you know, run any protection strategy. And that causes a lot of dysregulation because you’re stuck on on or you’re stuck on off. So you’re either one way or the other the foots, you know, on the brake, or it’s on the gas, it’s on the brake and the gas at the same time. You just can’t operate like that.

Ati Grinspun  13:34  

Well, let me let me see if I can make this clear. It’s almost like you work, work, work work, but that you’re also can be hiding in plain sight. Absolutely. I found myself there. I’m gonna say I’m a personal branding coach. And I see a lot of my clients actually doing that. But I’m posting but I’m doing I’m like, yeah, it’s still vanilla. But it’s not vanilla, because they’re not good. They’re vanilla, because they’re trying to be so safe, because they’re trying to please everyone and they don’t want to really use their voice to actually say what they really truly think

Erin Nicole Porter  14:05  

totally. And to be honest, like I’ve just been working through like an even deeper layer of this, like, you know, this last year, it’s like, okay, like, I don’t want to be a best kept secret anymore. Like, I’m really, you know, great at what I do, like, I know this shit inside and out. But what I was finding myself doing was like, okay, when you become, let’s say, like, more visible, right? Or like you’re putting your brand out there, you’re taking a stand for something, there’s so much internal fear of judgement, you know, being canceled being whatever the terminology is, and we fear that right? So it’s like, our strategies are going to come up for me it was let me make everybody happy. Let me be a chameleon. Let me you know, try to balance everything and I have a capacity I run like what I know a patterning that like I can do that to a certain extent. And that’s the thing is like we can do all of these strategies and navigate them to a certain extent. But if you’re at a place in your business where you’re like ready to go to that next level If you can’t keep operating in that strategy, yes, it got you here, but it’s not going to get you to where you want to go. So what I had to unpack was like, Okay, let me actually not have all of these masks on, let me start to just find my truth, find my core. And actually let myself use all the safety that I built in my system to navigate what happens when you’re just growing your personal brand. And yeah, so I definitely get that that being seen, and I’m working with a client right now on that, as she’s stepping into some really, really big stuff. Like, we gotta get your nervous system on board. Because whatever big manifestations that you have, that you’re calling in, your bodies kind of feel safe to receive them, or you’ll sabotage them, you’ll like, you know, kind of block them or they’ll come in, but they’re going to cause a lot of like, chaos or discomfort.

Ati Grinspun  15:47  

I mean, you’re literally describing the reason why I’m getting certified with you, like in your knee talked about the it’s like I spoke at your event. And one of the things that spoke to me, I’m like, I see my client number one, as a coach, we usually see these potential on our clients, that they can see themselves, right, like we see them in their in their true shine. Sometimes it needs to be polished, right? But like we see them in their true shine. That’s number one. And number two, is I found myself in a place where I would be coaching somebody through something. And my tools were not enough, right? Like, and I’m like, this is deeper, this person needs to have the breakthroughs on her own, I need to be able to ask the right questions and all the things right, because they grow. And then you go back. And that was me, I’m stepping into some big stuff. And I’m like, right. And I like and I know that for me, and I know that mostly, I know that I attract a lot of women like that we jump right like we’re the woman that we jump and then when we’re done, we were like, Oh crap. And now the nervous system is so dysregulated that we start creating all these scales. So this was amazing. So let me see, oh, we still have time, like I was still not really like used to like the whole podcast. I mean, so let me ask you this. So for many of these people, that maybe they’re just starting now, what is the journey of this inner work, right? Because I think that for me, actually, is exactly how you described it. It was personal growth. Awareness, like I had, like, I don’t know if you ever heard this, but one from me, but like, one of the biggest things for me, it’s like, I left a job where it was so successful. And I was so confident. And on the first year, full time, full time in my business, I couldn’t make anything happen. I lost all my confidence. I completely wanting to a dark path. And I see this happening with a ton of women. And what I realized after is like, I needed to change the identity truly, of who I was, right? Because the person that did that job was not the person that was doing this job. But that awareness is slapped me on the face. I was like, what is happening to me where all this crap on my brain, my body? My it was terrible, like it was about a year. So what is that journey? And how maybe women can shorten that journey? Like, that’s my goal in life that women literally don’t have to go through that.

Erin Nicole Porter  18:24  

Yeah, yeah. You know, so engineers, just having that conversation, someone brought that up at a networking event, or like, I was so successful, and then went into this, and it’s taking longer and having to kind of, you know, deal with that, that in between. And, you know, to kind of explain the journey, I think you said beautifully, like, the first piece of it is the awareness. And I would look at the awareness. Like, where’s there like entanglement between like your worth, or your identity and your business? I think as like personal brands, that sometimes we, we don’t know what that separation is because like, either, we’ve become so much of our business, and our business is so much of us, we’re just like, oh, shoot, like, I believe that if I’m not successful, then people aren’t going to think I’m a good coach, or this is happening or, you know, like, everything gets so entangled in this kind of interesting, you know, personal brand dynamic that we all have. And then what happens is, is because it’s so entangled, and that’s just kind of the roles that we’re in is then we have this very much, you know, again worth tied into our success or whatever the case may be. And so that I mean, that’s the first step is being like what, like, what do I actually believe like, who am I? Who am I outside of my business and what what am I feeding into? The second thing that I’ll add with that, too, is once people start, like, have the awareness and they start to untangle it, what I noticed a lot of people doing and I did this too, so let’s maybe we’ll save you a lot of years and money would be I looked at everything so much from like a fixing lens. I thought like I looked at the healing journey of like fixing to get something I was like okay, well if I can fix all of that’s in my life. It gave me one a sense of control to be able to do that. And to I was like, Okay, then I’ll then I’ll get the success and then I’ll get my nervous system regulated, and then I’ll get more money, and then I’ll get the opportunities. And so then what I were thinking

Ati Grinspun  20:15  

of fixing as fixing you like, I need to fix me, or it wasn’t more like on the strategy, because I remember thinking it was all strategy. I didn’t realize at first that it was it was a journey.

Erin Nicole Porter  20:28  

Yeah, yeah. Well, that’s the thing. Like, I mean, kind of both, like, I was doing it on the strategy side. But then, once they stopped doing it on the strategy, even when I began the deeper internal work, I was almost in this like, fixing to get, and I was in this constant like, loop, like, almost like, it’s like a trauma loop of like, okay, well, if I can just heal this, if I can just fix this, if I can just get this regulated. If I can just do this, then, okay, I’ll be able to breathe, and I’ll get all these things. And then I started like digging and looping and like looping and process. So that’s also something that I noticed once people open up the doors to all of this work, they can lose a little bit in the process, because they kind of like dig and dig and dig and dig and dig in their healing journey, versus finding like in just remembering as you’re listening to this, it’s like it’s not fixing our healing to get something like yes, of course, when we’re more regulated, do things land do things come in, absolutely. But if your intention going into that is that then you’re still looking at yourself from the lens of lack and from, I’m not worthy. And then you can, then all of that is continuing to feed that cycle. So it’s like, just shift a little bit going into it. And trust the journey is like life business will bring you to things as your nervous system feels ready, the unfolding will just happen. And you can you know, peace through it as you go through. But you don’t need to go on like a fishing, fixing expedition with it by yourself

Ati Grinspun  21:56  

so much in what you share so much. It’s gold, gold, gold, gold. So okay, so now somebody’s going through the journey. Right? And let’s talk about safety in the valley, because this was was a huge one for me. And I know you talk about that at ton. How we met Well, I know because you did it with me. So it wouldn’t be fair for me to actually share. But how can women find that safety sometimes when the bank account is not showing, or when the clients are still not coming in? And I think that this is so valid in the first few years, especially if the people are pivoting or starting something new. And I think that people get to freak out and start thinking this is not for me, this is like I can do it. I can leave in this uncertainty. And how can they find that safety in their body when they look at their bank account? And they’re like, oh shit, like money’s not coming in or clients are not coming in or things are not happening as fast as they think they should.

Erin Nicole Porter  23:03  

Yeah, yeah, you know, well, I’ll say this when people make that transition from you know, having let’s say like, a more consistent income into entrepreneurship, you got to make sure that you don’t put yourself in into survival starting your business, like I see a lot of people that just like jump and that that works for some people but for other people if you know that that’s gonna put you in a constant state of survival you need some supplemental income or something so then you’re not you’re not starting it with okay, I’m in survival but however as we go through business you know, there’s times where it’s like well launch didn’t go the way that I thought it was. And I thought I was going to have X amount of dollars coming in now what do I do right and the nervous system and especially when it comes to finances we can like that’s going to be some of the biggest pressure that we feel because it’s linked to you know, our basic needs and so I always tell people on like when there’s financial stuff that pops up like in their survival feelings around it, you got to kind of come down because right now the body’s gone I’m being chased by a lion like it doesn’t know that it’s a financial stressor it things like I’m gonna die I’m losing everything right so there’s that that fear with it. That what I have found for myself though is entrepreneurship always has our you know, little roller coaster

Ati Grinspun  24:16  

thing that is gonna be like this and I always say is like

Erin Nicole Porter  24:20  

Yeah, yeah, what I like helping people do is not going from like this giant like high low dip dip, but starting to like, okay, know that yes, things are happening and going back to what you were asking about what like the safety in the body. What I have found for myself is like the more safety that I have found in my body, the less highs and lows the less I go to extremes less I go to over dramatically sizing something or I don’t I have those thoughts that pop up. I have those fears that pop up, but I’m not living there because I can reregulate and kind of bounce back quicker. So having that safety in the body allows you to do that to kind of have Are that resiliency more of that bounce back versus going on the emotional rides that do come up?

Ati Grinspun  25:06  

Can we bring it to the how? Right? Because I think that like, you know, my people because they’re gonna be like me, like, My people are gonna be like, Okay, but how?

Erin Nicole Porter  25:17  

Right, right? No. And honestly, I wish I could be like, Okay, do this one practice and your life will change. But like, I’m always realistic when it comes to this work, because I think everybody does look for a quick fix. And while there’s practices, it is like you have to devote yourself over like to this over time, because when you start to find even a little bit more safety, there’s a breath, right, but two things that I will recommend as practices, but like, I mean, if you’re listening to this, like you have to actually say, like I’m going to devote myself to it is one you have to kind of look at, where can you actually feel safe in resting and being and in not doing for a lot of us we can’t like we know, either, if we’re in freeze mode, that’s not really resting and like true restoration or foreign doing mode, we find a lot of control, we find a lot of purpose and like detangling, all of that. So you have to kind of look at like can actually rest can actually be or am I just dissociating or checking out. Like, that’s one piece to look at.

Ati Grinspun  26:15  

I would love to share what you told me to do, because I think this is exactly what I went through, which was like, kind of like finding time through the day. To actually take risks from somebody that I go 100 miles an hour. I literally my husband sometimes comes in here. It’s like it’s 7pm it’s enough. Yeah, like, that’s it. You were like, literally it’s almost like Systemising it right? Like, yeah, and I studied putting in my calendar, and I don’t know you were gonna go there. But like, I started putting in my alarm, like every hour, five minutes, and I would sit here on my office and I would just like breathe.

Erin Nicole Porter  26:51  

Yep. Yeah, that’s literally I was gonna say like, people think we’re crazy

Ati Grinspun  26:55  

when we tell them this. Yeah, yeah, you were a little crazy when you told me to do.

Erin Nicole Porter  27:02  

It’s so true, though. It’s like, okay, so like untangling all the pieces of why but then like, you have to you have to make it a practice. And it’s again, it doesn’t have to be long it can be a minute can be five minutes, but you just need to sit and like and be and like be with the discomfort because there’s going to be discomfort in that. And just let yourself like orient into your space. So like if we even do it, right, like, let’s kind of go through the practice here. So if I, you know, I’m noticing, like where I’m at, right? Like I’m doing something right now. So it’s a little bit different. But even if I just slow myself down for a moment. Okay, what’s what am I feeling in my body, kind of in that more like high Indigo Gokce. We’re chatting about everything, and I’m excited. But if I’m wanting to slow down, it’s good to notice my breath first. And then I need my body to also feel that I’m safe. So for me, like if I feel my chair, or even if I feel like my dog is in the background, I noticed my heart beating like I’m finding this external and internal safety. And I’m just feeling those sensations. I’m like, Okay, what does it feel like to sit on something that can actually hold me and feel sturdy? That brings my nervous system down, I feel my heart beating. I feel like more regulated, so I’m just calming. I’m getting present I’m dropping in. And I’m just finding internal and external safety points. I do that a lot of the times when I’m transitioning from one thing to another takes a minute to do it. When I go into a new space or when I go into a new room or when I you know, shut my office and I go back out like I let myself transition versus just going from one thing to the next. And again, like I know a lot of people listening to this you might be mom, you might have multiple businesses or you’re working but like give yourself 30 seconds before you open up the door and you go to where you need to go to like just transition feel safety. And even when I’m feeling dysregulated I either you know find someone to co regulate with or I let myself like feel my feet on the floor. Just these little markers of the body can go okay, we don’t have to get so stuck here or here. We can breathe and regulate.

Ati Grinspun  29:13  

I would love to bring something to that the first time I heard your pay, can you actually get out of your head and go into your body? I couldn’t even do it. I was like, What? What? And then eventually I tried it and I was like oh, feeling feeling like now that I’m starting to actually share that with people. They look at me that way I thought of you like she’s crazy. I don’t know what she’s talking about. But I’m gonna say for everybody listening. This was life changing. Like I literally the way I do it. It’s actually when I open the door to leave the office at the end of the day. I stand in the opening or whatever. And I’m like yeah, this was amazing. But this is amazing too because what I found my of doing a ton of The Times was like I would leave the office, but I would go into the kitchen or whatever. But I’m still thinking of what’s happening here. And 15 minutes later, I would come back, and I will keep working, when I’m already like, how then maybe we have a plan with the family or whatever. So I started creating that card, where I’m like, Okay, I did it. I did enough. I gave it my 100%. And now I’m going to live life. This is the reason why I created this business so I can have this life. Absolutely. Yeah, it sounds so easy. But it’s not.

Erin Nicole Porter  30:34  

It’s hard, right? Because we live up and we live up in our minds. And we’re always thinking we’re always going we’re always doing and being able to like feel present to be in our body. It’s scary. I mean, the mind for a lot of you that resume, but it was just sharing is like is because that has literally what’s been the thing that’s kept you alive. And what’s kept you safe is thinking going doing moving, thinking going moving, you know, doing and the being is like, what do I like what do I do here, right? Like how

Ati Grinspun  31:06  

I how I got love was by doing I remember my mom and I found myself doing this with my kid. And I stopped completely stopped when I realized when I saw myself in than I used to like my mom used to say like, what are you doing? They’re like, what? Why are you laying down like go do something. And now my kid sometimes is I’m like, he’s like, Oh, I just want to do nothing all day. I’m like, Yeah, but your definition of nothing is actually drawing and chilling or listening to music. I’m like, he’s 10. And it’s summer, right? Like, and like we were we had accumulate camp and I’m like, No, let’s, let’s do empty weeks. I want him to have empty time. And now when kids like oh, I just want to do nothing all day. I’m like, Well, that means you want to like booty loves drawing, right? Like drawing and maybe hanging out with like a friend or whatever, that’s not doing nothing. That’s actually like giving yourself pleasure. Totally. And he’s like, Ah, right. I mean, I’m sure I’m fucking him up in other ways. But I caught myself telling him like, why don’t you do? Couch do nothing, right? And then I was like, oh, oh, my God. Like, no, that’s, that’s when magic happens for a lot of people. So let him be.

Erin Nicole Porter  32:18  

Yeah, yeah, it’s like, we need restoration time. Like we need time to, like, rejuvenate. And sometimes that is just that laying, but we’ve had so much, you know, societal conditioning around, we must be doing we must be going. And so as entrepreneurs especially and like that time is required to like, you can’t just lay in the bubble bath and manifests and hope things, you know, pop in, it’s like, you have to take action. But like, you have to also like, you know, do the things externally that you need to do. But I would love to see people like prioritize more of that, like rejuvenation, play and all of that as they’re building. So then they don’t go on these huge pendulum swings from one side of the spectrum to the other. And I

Ati Grinspun  32:59  

think a ton of that, at least in my experience has been really doing the actions from a place of like, I’m so excited about doing this. And I’m not like from a place of like, Oh, what if it doesn’t work? What if I’m the right like, and I think that I see so many people doing that, like, Oh, we’re doing this, but I hope this one works. I’m like, everything works. Like honestly, at this point. In my business, I feel like everything works, just it may not be as huge as you’re expecting it or you might either it works or you learn, right? So it’s just, you’re gonna be doing the same thing a year from now, two years from now, five years from now. So like, if you’re going crazy, that’s at least my take on the last year of my journey that is like, whatever I’m doing, I want to do it like happy, stay in that vibration, right? While I allow myself to feel

Erin Nicole Porter  33:48  

that is the journey. And it’s like, you can either start looking at all of it now, or wait, you know, and like let yourself get to a certain place and then be like, Okay, then I’ll finally look at it. But then at that point, people are usually burnt out, they’re anxious or overwhelmed, or, you know, going through something. So it’s like, like, do it in a way where like, you’ll thank yourself so much and a year from now, and two years from now. And five years from now she’s like, Oh, I have the capacity to handle when J hits the fan. And when things are going really well. Like that’s the other thing. I think when people think of all of this work like oh, it’s a lot of shadow work. It’s a lot of like deep dark work and pieces of it are but what I also have to remind people of is like, it’s about knowing how to hold the good things too. And that’s where we missed out is because we either go again look at it from that fixing lens versus Okay, a celebration did come in something did feel good, I got a bit of safety and really feeling into that because those doses get stored in your body and your body’s gonna keep remembering that so it’s like it is shadow work, but it’s also increasing your well being to

Ati Grinspun  34:52  

and remember I was reading your book, which I would love for you to at the end. Obviously we’re gonna tell everybody where they can find you but like name your book because he will So good for me to read. And it was a while since I’m a manifesting generator, Enneagram seven. So I don’t finish books, I got a books in my nightstand. And then I realized once I got into Enneagram and human design, oh, that’s why I just like having all the things in my brain. And finally I stopped, like blaming myself for it. And I’m like, oh, I’ll just pick each one as I feel like it. But I actually read your book, I think like four days from beginning to end, because I felt so mirror write in. And I remember you talking about like, when you look at your bank account every transaction no matter how small it is to celebrate it. And I remember thinking, Oh, I never do that. Like I never truly established look. And like, usually I was in a place of lack, when I will look at my bank account. And this is already having success in my business. Because there is always going to be a next level. And I had this conversation with somebody else yesterday, if you are making 10 grand a month, right? Maybe you want to make 20. If you’re making 20, you’re like, oh, now I’m ready to make 25. Right? If you’re making two, you’re like, oh, but this is not enough to leave on or to leave my job. But the thing is, that is

always a next level. So it’s never

about the number. It’s about the safety.

Erin Nicole Porter  36:19  

It is and you know, it’s so interesting as you share that I was just like, even yesterday, and I was just telling a friend about this, like literally this morning, I was like, okay, you know, I feel like I’ve had in like the, you know, with with money or business, like everything’s a relationship. And so there’s levels of intimacy. And I feel like for me in every area of life, and I was just looking at this with finances yesterday, I’m like, What’s my next level of intimacy, and like, openness that I want to have with money and like, maybe, you know, because there’s still parts of me that will be like kind of avoidant with it, or like kind of pulling away and like, what does it look like to open up my heart to that even more, like be even more vulnerable with me like opening it, looking at it feeling with it, like creating this next level of intimacy. So that’s been something that I’ve been just like, literally recently, like that. Next level of like it just intimacy and letting it in to.

Ati Grinspun  37:11  

So what happened to me from there was like, every time like I see, you know, notification coming in from one of our clients, or whatever, I’m like,

Unknown Speaker  37:19  

Thank you. Thank you.

Ati Grinspun  37:21  

Thank you. Right? Even if it’s just a second, sometimes I’m like, and I just keep going, right? But I’m, like, I need really also makes me put myself in this place of appreciation, not only for my clients, but what I get to provide for them. That’s right. It’s not because it’s not like their payment. They’re not paying, like, to me, they’re paying that transformation, that growth, right. So I’m committed to that. So like, it has been so good, like when I do it, and I’m like, okay, even if it’s 2 million. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So for all of you out there, like whatever you’re in your business, maybe you had one client, maybe you’re doing a beta, right? Maybe you’re running a new program, and you you only sold one, right? Like if this is your beginning, like start celebrating that from the one,

Erin Nicole Porter  38:08  

the one to 100.

Ati Grinspun  38:11  

Yes, I have one more question for you. And I like I have this idea that I don’t know if this is going to stay like Chef like this question. But what does it mean to you to be you to be your own brand.

Erin Nicole Porter  38:26  

I love this. I like the first thing that pops up is like being being you or like being me, like in this case is like who are you without all the different masks without all the different conditionings? Like, what’s your truth? Like? What is your actual truth? And if you didn’t have 9000 things being thrown at you or, you know, beliefs or whatever, like what is that? And then how in your expression through your content, your social media, through your branding? Are you actually letting like your true nature come out, and like take up the space that it wants to take up? That’s my expression of that.

Ati Grinspun  39:00  

I love that I truly want to like hear that from everybody. I’m so like curious what people are going to say. That’s absolutely my truth. It’s like helping women to really bring everything who they are into what they do. And so hearing good you tell everybody where they can find you. They can how they can work with you what you have going on and stuff like that.

Erin Nicole Porter  39:22  

Yes, we are. Have you told people about your event? Yeah. Oh, we haven’t. I was like, well, you can find me. Yeah, I do some event number one.

Ati Grinspun  39:31  

Oh my god. Yes. So Aaron is actually one of our speakers. And I like to say that like, Okay, again, right? I’m learning so much about like Enneagram human design. Now I understand why I do things the way I do. Like I used to think that I was flying by the seat of my pants but he saved the with the intuition is there. And I’m like now I have so much clarity and the way we are going to do this someday one we’re going to correct people open. We’re gonna help you three go deep into this inner work and like really explore. So when they choose, you can actually absorb the strategies and the tactics that we’re going to teach you. Because, again, over and over and over, I see these women telling me what to do when they when they go do it, they feel horrible. They can do it. They don’t take the action. They are in a place of love when they are acting or whatever. Right. So So yeah, so you can find Erin at BU brand live on September 28 2930. F. But then also where can they find you in social media? You have your podcasts, all of that?

Erin Nicole Porter  40:36  

Yes, I’m Erin Nicole coaching pretty much everywhere you go. And Doug’s a business podcast. And then I have the burnout to break through book on in the sun.

Ati Grinspun  40:45  

Yes. And you guys can download it on your Kindle. Like you can like, if you I would love for you to download this episode. I know that that was something that my podcast editor had been telling me to ask people to do, especially because we’re so new. So if you loved this episode, go share it would put it on your stories, and really go deep, get the book and really start working on yourself because that’s the best gift you’re ever going to give yourself. Thank you, Erin. Thank you. 

Thank you for tuning in to the Be You brand podcast. When it comes to building a personal brand. No one size fits all, or mindset is key. And there is a million things to learn from social media making videos and tech to storytelling and writing. So if you found this episode valuable, we would love for you to leave a review and share it share on your socials, your stories and send the link to your friends. So more women can build million dollar brands by being more of who they all ready are not sure where to start on your personal brand journey. Take our profitable personal brand quiz. This quiz was created with a service base and entrepreneur in mind. It will tell you where you are at and even give you a next step for massive action. Go take the quiz and power charts your personal brand and atigrinspun.com/quiz. That is www.atigrinspun.com/quiz. You can also find the link in the shownotes